MAYBE I'LL COME BACK

I've been on a bit of a vacation of sorts, not a real vacation, but a vacation from the blogesphere. I'm not sure what happened, I think I blog over loaded. I've even stopped watching the television news channels and listening to the news channels on my XM radio. I'm serious when I say I may have over loaded. I down right got tired of the current world events, maybe even a bit frightened by what I was watching, listening to and writing about. I think when you are paying such close attention to world events as I was, and then even writing about them, you ultimately and even unwillingly get pretty wrapped up in it and it can be a bit overwhelming. After all, I do have a real job that keeps me really busy, especially in the summer months. I've had a pretty scary medical issue since my last post on June 2nd. I had what they call a TIA or Transient Aschemic Attack. This is a "Mini Stroke", a blood clot that passes thru the brain, but the body eradicates the clot within seconds or sometimes minutes, thus leaving you no long term symptoms or effects. In most cases all symptoms are gone within a few hours to 24 hours. In my case, all symptoms were gone within 3 1/2 hours. This was probably one of the most surreal moments in my life. I couldn't move my left side for a few seconds and everything on my left side went limp, I knew it was a stroke and was terrified, I said "No, please God not right now", and than my mind went blank and I mean blank, I remember getting out of my chair from a high table and grabbing the table with all my might with my right arm, because I had nothing on the left side. My next memory is my friend walking me to a booth in the restaurant and he was asking me if I was OK and should he call an ambulance, I remember the terror in his 20 something face and I didn't want to scare him anymore than I already did, but I said, " no, I'm not OK, get the car, your driving me". The waitress watched this and she too was at the booth and asking if I needed an ambulance, I said " no honey, just give me the bill, my friends going to drive me". The test were immediate at the ER, results on the other hand trickled in, I prayed the Rosary and truly expected the BIG one was yet to come, I asked God that if I was to have another one and it was going to leave me a vegetable, to just take me home. I asked the Blessed Mother of God to intervene and ask God to spare me and my family of a possible vegetative state of mind and please bring me home! I thought of my kid's and how this was going to effect them and this terrified me the most! My grand daughters would never remember me and I would not get to see them grow up and have kids of thier own. My sudden death or disability would devastate them! I thought of my Siblings and how long it's been since I've seen them and suddenly began to feel a sense of regret for this. The Doctors informed me of the "TIA, or mini stroke", and I remember thinking, well, mini stroke sure sounds better than a regular stoke, I asked God to let it pass, and he did. In retrospect, I believe God took over in the restaurant. In my family, blood clots don't disappear on their own. Jesus said that our Father knows what we are about to ask even before we ask, he also said that our Father will give to you what you ask for, " ask and you shall receive", I asked at the "moment" in the restaurant and He gave me what I asked! Thank you God, I love you! Please let me do better for you!